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Try out PMC Labs and tell us what you think. Learn More. The study presents findings from interviews of 52 divorced individuals who received the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program PREP while engaged to be married. Participants also provided suggestions based on their premarital education experiences so as to improve future relationship education efforts. More participants blamed their partners than blamed themselves for the divorce.
Recommendations from participants for the improvement of premarital education included receiving relationship education before making a commitment to marry when it would be easier to break-uphaving support for implementing skills outside of the educational setting, and increasing content about the stages of typical marital development. These provide new insights into the timing and content of premarital and relationship education. Given these negative outcomes of marital conflict and divorce, the overarching goal of premarital relationship education has been to provide couples with skills to have healthy marriages.
Most research indicates that compared to control groups, PREP helps couples learn to communicate more positively and less Married wife looking sex Scott e. A few studies have shown more mixed or moderated e. One methodology that could improve PREP is to interview divorced individuals who participated in the program about their reasons for divorce and premarital education experiences in order to understand if the program covered these topics effectively.
Amato and Previti found that when divorced individuals were asked open-endedly to provide their reasons for divorce, the most cited reasons were infidelity Johnson et al. In sum, across studies some consistency exists regarding the importance of issues such as communication, incompatibility, and commitment as reasons for divorce, while other issues seem to vary across samples. In addition, no study, to our knowledge, has asked divorced participants who all participated in the same premarital program to provide suggestions for improving relationship education programs based on their own experiences in the program and considering that their marriages ended in divorce.
These could be valuable for practitioners to consider in order to improve the PREP model specifically and relationship education efforts more generally.
The current study qualitatively interviewed individuals who had completed PREP and later divorced about their premarital education, including what they wished would have been covered, as well as their marital experiences, particularly regarding their reasons for divorce. The ultimate goal of the current study was to provide new knowledge on potential ways to help relationship education best prevent marital distress and divorce. Data were collected from 52 individuals who received PREP premaritally but subsequently divorced at some point in the following 14 years.
The sample included 31 women and 21 men. Of these, 18 men and 18 women had been married to each other we were unable to assess the former spouse of the other 16 individuals. At the first time point of the larger study i.
At the time of the post-divorce interview, the average age was The average of years since premarital intervention to the post-divorce interview was The sample was In terms of ethnicity, At the initial wave of the study inparticipants were required to be planning marriage with someone of the opposite sex and needed to participate as a couple.
As mentioned earlier, they were ased to either receive PREP through the religious organization, PREP at a university, or naturally-occurring services. Throughout the duration of the larger study, participants were asked to complete annual assessments that included questionnaires and videotaped discussions. Of these individuals, we were unable to contact 35 participants, 18 declined an invitation to participate, and 1 participant was deceased. All participants completed an individual minute audio-recorded interview over the phone about their divorce and their recollections of their premarital intervention.
All interviews were transcribed verbatim for analyses. All study procedures were approved by a university Institutional Review Board. Using items from a survey on reasons for divorce C. Can you tell me more about that? Participants were asked two questions C. Participants were asked to report and elaborate on what they remembered, found difficult, or wished was different about their premarital education experience in an open-ended format. Both quantitative and qualitative approaches were utilized to address our research questions. The two coders then met repeatedly to compare and to establish consistency.
If the coders disagreed across codes, they discussed their codes with Married wife looking sex Scott second author to come to a conclusion. For example, axial coding involved examining how respondent reports of general themes e. The individuals column reflects the percentage of individuals in the total sample who said yes to each reason. The couples column reflects the percentage of couples who had at least one partner say yes to each reason.
The couple agreement column represents how many couples had both partners cite each reason out of the couples that had a least one partner mention that reason. The final stage of coding included selective coding in which were refined and relationships between concepts were noted, such as how reasons for divorce related to difficulties utilizing PREP skills. Once all codes were determined, the first author and a new coder, another research assistant on the project, coded all transcripts with the established coding system.
Codes were counted for all individuals, as well as couples as a whole partner agreement on the same code and couples in which only one partner from the relationship reported a specific code partner disagreement on the same code. Overall, the indicate that the most often cited reasons for divorce at the individual level were lack of commitment The order of these rankings was essentially identical at the couple level, although rates of endorsement increased because both partners were reporting.
The following provides qualitative elaborations by participants on these specific reasons for divorce. Of the couples in which at least one partner mentioned commitment as a problem, Some participants reported that commitment within their relationships gradually eroded until there was not enough commitment to sustain the relationship, while others reported more drastic drops in commitment in response to negative events, such as infidelity.
I always had felt more still like he was a friend to me. It got to a point where it seemed like he was no longer really willing to work [on the relationship].
All of the stresses together and then what seemed to me to be an unwillingness to work through it any longer was the last straw for me. The next most often cited major contributing factor to divorce was infidelityendorsed by Married wife looking sex Scott those couples who had a least one partner report infidelity as a reason for divorce, only Thus, the majority of couples with apparent infidelity in their relationships only had one partner mention it as a contributing factor to their divorce.
Overall, infidelity was often cited as a critical turning point in a deteriorating relationship. I kind of had a feeling about it, but, you know, I guess we all deny [because] we never think that the person you are married to or care about would do that to us. Too much conflict and arguing was endorsed by Of these couples, Overall, participants indicated that conflicts were not generally resolved calmly or effectively.
Respondents also reported that such communication problems increased in frequency and intensity throughout their marriages, which at times, seemed to coincide with lost feelings of positive connections and mutual support. By the end of the marriage, these respondents indicated that there was a ificant lack of effective communication. Getting married too young was reported as a major contributing factor to divorce by Both partners mentioned this reason in Participants who endorsed this item were an average of Additional comments about this issue included reports that participants were too young to make mature objective decisions regarding their marriage decisions.
I wish we would have waited a little bit longer before we actually got married. Financial problems were cited as a major contributor to divorce by In elaborating about this issue, some participants indicated that financial difficulties were not the most pertinent reason for their divorce, but instead contributed to increased stress and tension within the relationship. Other participants also expressed that some financial difficulties were linked to other problems e.
Substance abuse was reported as a major contributing factor to divorce by Of these couples, only Thus, similar to reports of infidelity, the majority of couples who listed substance abuse as a reason for divorce had only one partner cite this reason. After several attempts to address the problem, the relationship finally ended. It was me against him and the disease. Domestic violence was cited as a contributing factor to divorce by Of those couples in which one partner listed domestic abuse a major contributor to divorce, Elaborations of this item included descriptions of both physical and emotional abuse.
Participants often expressed how the abuse in their relationship developed gradually, with intensified cycles of abuse and contrition, until the severity of the abuse intensified to insurmountable levels. There was a time that there was a bit of shoving. I got an elbow to my nose and I got a nose bleed. Then there was another time that he literally just slid me along the floor.
It would happen again. Overall, General themes of final straw issues where generated through qualitative methods for participants who reported a final straw. Participants expressed that although these final straw events may not have been the first incident of their kind e. Also, there were some situations in which individuals expressed that these three issues may have interacted with one Married wife looking sex Scott or other relationship issues. Furthermore, when participants were asked if their partner should have worked harder to save their marriages, Conversely, when participants were asked if they, personally, should have worked harder to save their marriages, only Further, at the couple level, Only Conversely, only Further, Thus, most participants believed their ex-partners should have worked harder, but at the couple level, there were more couples in which both partners agreed that the wife did not need to work harder than there were couples in which both partners agreed the husband did not need to work harder.
When asked who filed for the divorce, Next, we provide the findings on the most commonly cited qualitative feedback reported by participants regarding how to improve premarital education. The following and percentages refer to counts of qualitative codes created by the research team based on common themes in the interviews.
show that Indeed, Twenty-five percent Example constraints included having become engaged, set a wedding date, sent out invitations, or purchased a dress, which made it difficult for participants to objectively reconsider if they were marrying the right person through the educational experience. Thus, a large portion of participants expressed that receiving PREP just before marriage made it difficult for them to seriously considered delaying their wedding plans in order to make more objective decisions about the relationship.
We already have all the people.
Everything is already set up and we bought the house. The churches have been booked. The invitations have gone out. Thirty-one percent Other participants simply expressed that it was hard to remember and perfect their skills after the program ended because they did not practice them regularly. I just think it mattered if you were going to apply the principles or not.
These comments included surprise that their partners changed over the course of the marriage, as well as trouble facing new problems when they emerged e. That after the wedding day, and the build up to Married wife looking sex Scott wedding day, real life is going to kick in and you have to really have some tools to deal with it. Thus, among individuals who received PREP premaritally and later divorced, this study addressed reasons for divorce as well as ideas for what else would have been helpful in relationship education.
Given the small sample and qualitative nature of the reports, the implications discussed below ought to be considered preliminary. We asked about reasons for divorce to know whether PREP addressed the kinds of problems that couples who went on to divorce tended to experience. The most commonly cited reason for divorce was lack of commitment, followed by infidelity and too much conflict and arguing. These top rated major reasons for divorce noted here are similar to those found in large random surveys of divorced participants cf.
Overall, these findings support the importance of covering communication and commitment in premarital education programs to help foster successful marriages; however, in light of participant feedback on PREP, the program may have been able to cover these and other topics more effectively. Research indicates that commitment and conflict management are related in that commitment helps partners inhibit negative behaviors and engage in more positive behaviors at critical moments Slotter et al.
One solution could be to increase the time couples spend in premarital education in order for them to master essential skills and to help them become more likely to constructively derail negative processes as they emerge. Longer curricula do not seem to lead to stronger effects Hawkins, Stanley et al. With most premarital education services, including PREP, couples are not provided opportunities to practice new skills or receive coaching while they are upset or experiencing a difficult disagreement. A group or workshop format likely inhibits such real-world discussions.
It could be that couples would benefit from new program content that helps them practice their skills better when they are having trouble. Couples may also benefit from additional opportunities to perfect the use of program strategies after the intervention has ended, such as through booster classes or individual meetings with coaches. New technologies now offer innovative ways to deliver such boosters, such as through online training or smart phone applications.
Introducing new content on the issues that participants identified as final straws in their marriages may also be beneficial. These issues were infidelity, aggression or emotional abuse, and substance use.Married wife looking sex Scott
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